Bukuli linalembedwera Benoni B. Gattell pakati pa zaka 1912 ndi 1932. Kuchokera nthawi imeneyo wakhala akugwira ntchito mobwerezabwereza. Tsopano, mu 1946, pali masamba ochepa amene sanasinthe pang'ono. Popewera kubwereza ndi zovuta ma tsamba onse achotsedwa, ndipo ndawonjezera zigawo zambiri, ndime ndi masamba.

Popanda thandizo, ndikukayikira ngati ntchitoyi idalembedwa, chifukwa zinali zovuta kuti ndiganize ndi kulemba nthawi yomweyo. Thupi langa linayenera kukhala liribe pamene ndinali kulingalira nkhaniyi ndikusankha mawu oyenera kuti apange mawonekedwe a mawonekedwe: ndipo kotero, ndimayamikira kwambiri chifukwa cha ntchito yomwe wachita. Ndikuyeneranso pano kuvomereza maofesi okoma, omwe sakufuna kutchulidwa mayina, chifukwa cha malingaliro awo ndi thandizo laumisiri pomaliza ntchitoyi.

Ntchito yovuta kwambiri inali kupeza mau oti afotokoze nkhani ya recondite yomwe inagwiritsidwa ntchito. Kuyesera kwanga kwakhala kufuna kupeza mau ndi mawu omwe angatanthauzire bwino tanthauzo ndi zikhalidwe za zenizeni zina zosaoneka, ndi kusonyeza ubale wawo wosagwirizana ndi zomwe zimadziwika m'matupi aumunthu. Pambuyo pakusinthika mobwerezabwereza ndinatsimikizika pamagwiritsidwe ntchito pano.

Nkhani zambiri sizinafotokozedwe momveka bwino monga momwe ndikanafunira kuti zikhale, koma kusintha kumeneku kumayenera kukhala kokwanira kapena kosatha, chifukwa pa kuwerenga kulikonse maonekedwe ena amawoneka othandiza.

Sindiganiza kuti ndilalikire kwa aliyense; Sindimadziona ndekha mlaliki kapena mphunzitsi. Kodi sizinali choncho kuti ndili ndi udindo pa bukuli, ndingakonde kuti umunthu wanga usatchulidwe ngati wolemba. Ukulu wa nkhani zomwe ndimapereka zowonjezera, kumandithandiza ndikumasula ndikudzidalira ndikuletsa pempho la kudzichepetsa. Ndiyesa kunena mawu osadabwitsa ndi odabwitsa kwa umunthu wodziwa ndi wosafa womwe uli m'thupi la munthu; ndipo ndimaganizira kuti munthuyo adzasankha zomwe akufuna kapena sakudziwa ndi zomwe akudziwitsa.

Anthu oganiza bwino adatsindika kufunikira koyankhula pano za zina zomwe ndimakumana nazo podziwa, komanso zochitika za moyo wanga zomwe zingathandize kufotokozera momwe zinalili zotheka kuti ndidziwe ndi kulemba zinthu zomwe ziripo kusiyana ndi zikhulupiriro zamakono. Iwo amati izi ndizofunikira chifukwa palibe mabuku olemba mabuku omwe akuwerengedwera ndipo palibe maumboni omwe amaperekedwa kuti athe kutsimikizira zomwe zili pano. Zina zomwe ndakumana nazo zakhala zosiyana ndi zomwe ndamva kapena kuziwerenga. Maganizo anga pa moyo wa munthu ndi dziko lomwe tikukhalamo adandiwululira nkhani ndi zodabwitsa zomwe sindinapezepo m'mabuku. Koma sikungakhale kwanzeru kuganiza kuti nkhani zoterozo zikhoza kukhala, komabe sizidziwika kwa ena. Ayenera kukhala omwe amadziwa koma sangathe kuwauza. Sindikulonjeza kuti ndine wobisika. Ine sindiri wa bungwe la mtundu uliwonse. Sindimakhulupirira ndikuuza zomwe ndapeza mwa kuganiza; mwa kuganiza mofulumira pamene ali maso, osati mu tulo kapena mu chikhalidwe. Sindinakhalepo konse kapena sindifuna kukhala ndi chikhalidwe cha mtundu uliwonse.

Zomwe ndakhala ndikuzidziwa ndikuganizira za malo monga magawo a nkhani, malamulo a nkhani, nzeru, nthawi, miyeso, chilengedwe ndi kukonzanso maganizo, ndikuyembekeza, ndatsegula malo kuti afufuze ndikugwiritsiridwa ntchito . Panthawi imeneyo khalidwe loyenerera liyenera kukhala mbali ya moyo waumunthu, ndipo liyenera kusamvetsetsa sayansi ndi luso. Ndiye chitukuko chikhoza kupitiriza, ndipo kudziimira ndi udindo kudzakhala ulamuliro wa moyo wa munthu aliyense ndi wa boma.

Nazi chithunzi cha zochitika zina za moyo wanga wachinyamata:

Rhythm ndikumverera koyamba kwa kugwirizana ndi dziko lapansili. Patapita nthawi ndimamva mkati mwa thupi, ndipo ndimamva mau. Ndinamvetsa tanthauzo la mawu omwe mawuwo amveka; Sindinaone kanthu, koma ine, monga momwe ndikumverera, ndingatanthauze tanthauzo la mawu alionse-kumveka, ndi chiyero; ndipo kumverera kwanga kunapereka mawonekedwe ndi mtundu wa zinthu zomwe zinafotokozedwa ndi mawu. Pamene ndingagwiritse ntchito malingaliro ndikuwona zinthu, ndinapeza mawonekedwe ndi maonekedwe omwe ine, monga momwe ndimamvera, ndikukhala mogwirizana ndi zomwe ndagwira. Pamene ndinkatha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu za kupenya, kumva, kulawa ndi kununkhiza ndikukhoza kufunsa ndikuyankha mafunso, ndinadzipeza kuti ndine mlendo m'dziko lachilendo. Ndinadziwa kuti sindinali thupi lomwe ndimakhalamo, koma palibe amene angandiuze yemwe ndinali kapena kumene ndimachokerako, ndipo ambiri mwa iwo omwe ndimamfunsa ankawoneka kuti ndi matupi omwe amakhalamo.

Ndinazindikira kuti ndinali m’thupi lomwe sindikanatha kudzimasula ndekha. Ndinasochera, ndekha, ndipo ndinali wachisoni. Zochitika mobwerezabwereza ndi zokumana nazo zinanditsimikizira kuti zinthu sizinali momwe zimawonekera; kuti pali kusintha kosalekeza; kuti palibe chikhalire cha kanthu; kuti anthu nthawi zambiri ankanena zosiyana ndi zimene ankatanthauza. Ana ankasewera masewera amene ankawatcha kuti “kungokhulupirira” kapena “tiyeni tiyerekeze.” Ana ankasewera, amuna ndi akazi ankachita zinthu zongoyerekezera ndi zonamizira; poyerekezera ndi anthu ochepa amene analidi zoona ndi oona mtima. Panali chiwonongeko m’zoyesayesa zaumunthu, ndipo maonekedwe sanakhalitse. Maonekedwe sanapangidwe kuti akhalitse. Ndinadzifunsa kuti: Kodi zinthu ziyenera kupangidwa bwanji kuti zikhalepo, ndikupangidwa popanda zinyalala ndi chisokonezo? Gawo lina la ine ndekha linayankha: Choyamba, dziwa chimene ukufuna; onani ndikukumbukira mosalekeza mawonekedwe omwe mungakhale nawo zomwe mukufuna. Kenako ganizirani ndi kuyankhula ndi kuyankhula izo m'mawonekedwe, ndipo zomwe mukuganiza kuti zidzasonkhanitsidwa kuchokera mumlengalenga wosawoneka ndikukhazikika mkati ndi mozungulira mawonekedwewo. Sindinaganize m'mawu awa, koma mawu awa amafotokoza zomwe ndimaganiza. Ndinadzidalira kuti ndikhoza kuchita zimenezo, ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndinayesera ndikuyesera kwa nthawi yaitali. Ndinalephera. Polephera ndinadzimva kukhala wonyozeka, wonyozeka, ndipo ndinali ndi manyazi.

Sindinalephere kukhala wopenyerera zochitika. Zimene ndinamva anthu akunena pa zinthu zimene zinachitika, makamaka za imfa, sizinali zomveka. Makolo anga anali Akhristu odzipereka kwambiri. Ndinalimva likuwerengedwa ndi kunena kuti “Mulungu” anapanga dziko; kuti analenga mzimu wosakhoza kufa kwa thupi la munthu aliyense padziko lapansi; ndi kuti mzimu umene sunamvere Mulungu udzaponyedwa ku gehena ndi kupserera mu moto ndi sulfure ku nthawi za nthawi. Sindinakhulupirire mawu alionse pa zimenezo. Zinkawoneka zopusa kwambiri kwa ine kuganiza kapena kukhulupirira kuti Mulungu kapena munthu aliyense akanatha kupanga dziko lapansi kapena kundilenga ine kuti ndikhale ndi thupi lomwe ndimakhalamo. Ndinawotcha chala changa ndi machesi a sulfure, ndipo ndinakhulupirira kuti thupilo likhoza kuwotchedwa mpaka kufa; koma ndidadziwa kuti ine, chomwe ndidazindikira ngati ine, sindingathe kutenthedwa ndipo sindingathe kufa, kuti moto ndi sulfure sizingandiphe, ngakhale kuwawa kwawo kunali kowopsa. Ndinaona zoopsa, koma sindinachite mantha.

Anthu ankaoneka kuti sankadziwa “chifukwa chiyani” kapena “chiyani,” ponena za moyo kapena imfa. Ndinadziwa kuti payenera kukhala chifukwa cha zonse zimene zinachitika. Ndinafuna kudziwa zinsinsi za moyo ndi imfa, ndi kukhala ndi moyo kosatha. Sindinadziwe chifukwa chake, koma sindikanatha kudziletsa kufuna zimenezo. Ndinkadziwa kuti sipangakhale usiku ndi usana ndi moyo ndi imfa, ndipo palibe dziko, pokhapokha patakhala anzeru omwe amayang'anira dziko lapansi ndi usiku ndi usana ndi moyo ndi imfa. Komabe, ndinatsimikiza mtima kuti chifuno changa chikakhala chopeza anthu anzeru amene angandiuze mmene ndiyenera kuphunzira ndi zimene ndiyenera kuchita, kuti aikidwe zinsinsi za moyo ndi imfa. Sindingaganize nkomwe kunena izi, kutsimikiza mtima kwanga, chifukwa anthu sangamvetse; angandikhulupirire kuti ndine wopusa kapena wamisala. Panthawiyo ndinali ndi zaka 7.

Zaka 15 kapena kuposerapo zinadutsa. Ndinaona mmene moyo wa anyamata ndi atsikana uliri wosiyana, pamene amakula ndikusintha kukhala amuna ndi akazi, makamaka paunyamata wawo, makamaka wa ine ndekha. Malingaliro anga anali atasintha, koma chifuno changa—chopeza awo amene anali anzeru, odziŵa, ndi amene ndinakhoza kuphunzirako zinsinsi za moyo ndi imfa—chinali chosasinthika. Ndinali wotsimikiza za kukhalapo kwawo; dziko silikanakhoza kukhala, popanda iwo. Mu dongosolo la zochitika ndinatha kuona kuti payenera kukhala boma ndi kasamalidwe ka dziko, monganso payenera kukhala boma la dziko kapena kasamalidwe ka bizinesi iliyonse kuti izi zipitirire. Tsiku lina amayi anandifunsa zimene ndimakhulupirira. Mosakayikira ndidati: Ndikudziwa mosakayikira kuti chilungamo chimalamulira dziko lapansi, ngakhale moyo wanga ukuwoneka ngati umboni kuti sichitero, chifukwa sindikuwona kuthekera kokwaniritsa zomwe ndikudziwa, komanso zomwe ndimafuna.

M’chaka chomwecho, m’ngululu ya 1892, ndinaŵerenga m’nyuzipepala ya Lamlungu kuti Madam Blavatsky wina anali wophunzira wa anzeru akum’maŵa amene ankatchedwa “Mahatmas”; kuti mwa kukhala ndi moyo mobwerezabwereza padziko lapansi, iwo anafikira nzeru; kuti anali ndi zinsinsi za moyo ndi imfa, ndipo adapangitsa Madam Blavatsky kupanga bungwe la Theosophical Society, lomwe ziphunzitso zawo zikhoza kuperekedwa kwa anthu. Padzakhala nkhani madzulo amenewo. Ndinapita. Pambuyo pake ndinakhala chiŵalo chachangu cha Sosaite. Mawu akuti panali amuna anzeru—mwa maina alionse amene anawatchula—sindinandidabwitsa; Umenewo unali umboni wapakamwa chabe wa zomwe ine ndidali wotsimikiza kuti ndizofunika kupititsa patsogolo munthu ndi chitsogozo ndi chitsogozo cha chilengedwe. Ndinawerenga zonse zomwe ndikanatha ponena za iwo. Ndinaganiza zokhala wophunzira wa mmodzi wa anzeru; koma kupitiliza kuganiza kunandipangitsa kuti ndimvetsetse kuti njira yeniyeni sinali yofunsira kwa aliyense, koma kukhala ndekha woyenera komanso wokonzeka. Sindinaonepo kapena kumvapo, kapena kukhudzana ndi “anzeru” monga momwe ndinakhalira ndi pakati. Ndilibe mphunzitsi. Tsopano ndikumvetsa bwino nkhani ngati zimenezi. “Anzeru” enieni ndi Triune Selves, mu Dziko la Permanence. Ndinasiya kugwirizana ndi magulu onse.

Kuchokera mu November wa 1892 ine ndinadutsa mu zochitika zodabwitsa ndi zovuta, zomwe zidachitika, m'chaka cha 1893, panachitika chochitika chapadera kwambiri pa moyo wanga. Ndadutsa 14th Street ku 4th Avenue, ku New York City. Magalimoto ndi anthu akufulumira. Pamene ndikukwera kumwala wakumpoto wakumpoto chakum'mawa, Kuwala, kwakukulu kuposa dzuwa la masauzande ambiri lotsegulidwa pakati pa mutu wanga. Mu nthawi yomweyo kapena mfundo, miyaya inagwidwa. Panalibe nthawi. Kutalika ndi miyeso sizinali umboni. Chilengedwe chinali ndi mayunitsi. Ndinkadziwa magulu a chilengedwe ndi ma unit monga Intelligences. Kupitirira ndi kupitirira, kotero kunena, panali Kuwala kwakukulu ndi kochepa; Kuwala kwakukulu kwambiri kwa Miyezi yaing'ono, yomwe inavumbulutsa mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya magulu. Miyezi siinali yachirengedwe; Iwo anali Kuwala monga Intelligences, Conscious Lights. Poyerekeza ndi kuwala kapena kuwala kwa Miyezi imeneyo, kuwala kwa dzuŵa kunali nkhungu yaikulu. Ndipo mkati ndi kupyolera mu Kuwala konse ndi mayunitsi ndi zinthu ine ndimadziwa Kukhalapo kwa Chisamaliro. Ndinkadziŵa Conscious ngati Chowonadi Chokhalitsa ndi Chosavuta, ndikuzindikira mgwirizano wa zinthu. Sindinasangalale ndi zosangalatsa, zokhumudwitsa kapena zosangalatsa. Mawu amalephera kufotokoza kapena kufotokoza KUKHULUPIRIRA. Zingakhale zopanda pake kuyesa kufotokozera ukulu wamtengo wapatali ndi mphamvu ndi dongosolo ndi chiyanjano pochita zomwe ndikudziŵa. Kawiri pazaka khumi ndi zinayi zotsatira, kwa nthawi yaitali nthawi iliyonse, ndimadziwa Consciousness. Koma panthawi imeneyo sindinadziwe zoposa momwe ndinadziwira mu mphindi yoyamba ija.

Kukhala ndi chidziwitso cha Consciousness ndi gulu la mawu ogwirizana omwe ndawasankha ngati mawu oti ndilankhule za mphindi yamphamvu komanso yodabwitsa kwambiri m'moyo wanga.

Chidziwitso chilipo mugawo lililonse. Chifukwa chake kukhalapo kwa Consciousness kumapangitsa kuti gawo lililonse lizindikire momwe limagwirira ntchito momwe limadziwira. Kuzindikira Kuzindikira kumawulula "zosadziwika" kwa yemwe wakhala akuzindikira. Kenako idzakhala ntchito ya ameneyo kudziwitsa chimene angathe kukhala ndi chidziwitso cha Consciousness.

Kufunika kwakukulu pakuzindikira Consciousness ndikuti kumathandizira munthu kudziwa za phunziro lililonse, poganiza. Kuganiza ndikugwiritsitsa kosasunthika kwa Conscious Light mkati mwa mutu wamalingaliro. Mwachidule, kulingalira kuli ndi magawo anayi: kusankha mutu; akugwira Conscious Light pamutuwu; kuyang'ana Kuwala; ndi, cholinga cha Kuwala. Kuwala kukakhala kolunjika, mutuwo umadziwika. Mwa njira iyi, Kuganiza ndi Kutha zalembedwa.

Cholinga chapadera cha bukuli ndi: Kuuza anthu ozindikira m'matupi aumunthu kuti ndife ochita zinthu osasiyanitsidwa ndi moyo wosafa. munthu aliyense Utatu, Triune Selves, omwe, mkati ndi kupitirira nthawi, ankakhala ndi oganiza bwino athu ndi zigawo zodziwa mu matupi angwiro opanda kugonana mu Dziko la Permanence; kuti ife, ozindikira omwe tsopano ali m'matupi aumunthu, tinalephera pachiyeso chofunikira kwambiri, ndipo potero tinadzichotsa tokha kuchoka ku Dziko la Permanence kupita kudziko lino lakale la mwamuna ndi mkazi wa kubadwa ndi imfa ndi kukhalanso ndi moyo; kuti tiribe kukumbukira izi chifukwa timadzilowetsa tokha mu tulo tokha, kulota; kuti tidzapitiriza kulota m’moyo, kupyolera mu imfa ndi kubwerera ku moyo; kuti tiyenera kupitiriza kuchita izi mpaka titayitse, kudzuka, tokha kuchoka ku hypnosis yomwe timadziyika tokha; kuti, ngakhale zitenga nthawi yayitali bwanji, tiyenera kudzuka ku maloto athu, kukhala ozindikira of tokha as ife eni m’matupi athu, ndipo kenako timabadwanso ndi kubwezeretsa matupi athu ku moyo wosatha m’nyumba mwathu—Mpango wa Kukhalitsa kumene tinachokera—umene umalowa m’dziko lino lathuli, koma wosawonedwa ndi maso a chivundi. Ndiye ife mozindikira tidzatenga malo athu ndi kupitiriza mbali zathu mu Dongosolo Lamuyaya la Kupita patsogolo. Njira yochitira izi ikuwonetsedwa m'mitu yotsatirayi.

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Izi zikulemba zolemba za ntchitoyi ndi printer. Pali nthawi yochepa yowonjezera ku zomwe zalembedwa. Pakati pa zaka zambiri za kukonzekera, nthawi zambiri ndafunsidwa kuti ndikuphatikizira m'mavesi ena mavesi omwe amawoneka ngati osamvetsetseka, koma omwe, malinga ndi zomwe zanenedwa pamasamba awa, amalingalira komanso ali ndi tanthauzo, , panthawi imodzimodzi, gwirizanitsani mawu omwe aperekedwa mu ntchitoyi. Koma ndinkalephera kufananitsa kapena kusonyeza makalata. Ndinkafuna kuti ntchitoyi iweruzidwe pazinthu zokha.

M’chaka chatha ndinagula voliyumu yokhala ndi mutu wakuti “The Lost Books of the Bible and The Forgotten Books of Eden.” Pakusanthula masamba a mabukuwa, n’zodabwitsa kuona kuti ndi ndime zingati zachilendo ndi zosamvetsetseka zimene zingamveke pamene munthu amvetsetsa zimene zalembedwa m’menemu zokhudza Triune Self ndi zigawo zake zitatu; ponena za kusinthika kwa thupi lanyama kukhala langwiro, thupi lanyama losakhoza kufa, ndi Dziko Lachikhalire, limene m’mawu a Yesu ndilo “Ufumu wa Mulungu.”

Apanso pempho lafunsidwa kuti mumveketse bwino mavesi a m'Baibulo. Mwina ndichoncho kuti izi zichitike komanso kuti owerenga Kuganiza ndi Kutha kupatsidwa umboni wotsimikizira mawu ena a m’bukuli, umboni umene ungapezeke m’Chipangano Chatsopano ndi m’mabuku amene tawatchulawo. Chifukwa chake ndiwonjezera gawo lachisanu ku Mutu X, "Milungu ndi Zipembedzo Zawo," yokhudzana ndi izi.

HWP

New York, Marichi 1946